Some memories of my Dan

I was so scared to have a baby. Im not a girl that holds babies all of the the time. It came so amazingly natural with Daniel. Now that he is gone, that fear of holding babies has returned. All of our close friends have babies and I admit, it is really hard. I just want to cry. Daniel was supposed to grow up with them, and cause mischeif with his little friend Dominic. But I know he is in heaven with other angels and I really hope they are having fun! I wasn't scared to hold Daniel for the first time, I couldnt wait. He was so beautiful, even with all the tubes and IV's (I hated that IV in his head) when they took him off all the tubes and wires and IVs- he was so tough. He cried a little bit when they took it off but man, he was SOO tough! and boy, could he scream! It was so nice to hear a cry from him, when he was first born he wasn't breathing so I didnt get to hear that first cry like some moms do.