1 year

I can't believe its already been a year since Dan left us. I miss him so much. Yesterday the 19th was the 1 year mark. We actually had a pretty great day. We went down to Murray for the IHH 5k with a bunch of our family and friends. (I just sat and watched because I'm 35 weeks pregnant) Tyler took 3rd overall. He did awesome. We hung out at Murray City Park for a bit, the weather was great. We also ate lunch there and it was really nice to just sit and relax. Everyone that ran or walked the 5k did great. I am really proud of everyone that came out to support us yesterday. It makes the moments much easier when we are doing something positive it remembrance of Dan. Surrounding myself with uplifting people makes it easier too. I am really happy we had so many friends and family come out to support IHH, the organization that helps other families affected by CHD's and angel families. After the 5k we headed home to watch the Chelsea vs Bayern Munich soccer game. (Tyler's favorite EPL team is Chelsea FC.) They WON! So it was a really fun game to watch, and another great distraction. After that Tyler and I took some pretty orange roses to Dan's grave. Tyler trimmed the grass around the edges of the headstone and it looks really nice. After the visit at the cemetery we headed home and then had a BBQ with some friends. Like I said, it was a great day. I miss my sweet boy so much but I know I will se him again someday. I hope he can see that Tyler and I are doing well, and that we smile whenever we think of him.

the group before the race

the group after the race

Dan's grave

orange roses for Dan

Proud of my hubby taking 3rd overall! I designed those  "Miracle Dan" pins that Tyler is pointing at on his shirt.  I ordered them online and everyone got to wear one when they were running. :)  

Happy 1st b-day in Heaven Dan!

Happy 1^st Birthday in Heaven to my amazing sweet little boy. Not a single day has passed where I don’t miss you or long to hold you in my arms. Every day I wonder what you would look like, what you would be doing, how your smile would look, how many haircuts you would have had to have. I have had many special moments since you left us where I know you have been near. I believe you are near me during the moments where I miss you the most with tears rolling down my cheeks.  (Like right now) I cant believe a year has passed since I got to see you for the first time.  Bringing you into this world was so painful but I would do it all again a million times for another  5 amazing weeks with you.  I cherish every memory I have of you. Each day that goes by I know I am one day closer to seeing you again. I love you so much Dan and I hope you know how proud I am to be your Mom.  XOXO

Just what I needed...

This video was just what I needed today. Miss you Dan!

Miss you Dan!

The lights are blinking merrily
The tinsel’s on the tree
It sits there in the window
For all the world to see.

... The house is filled with holly
And pinecone scents the air
The Christmas cards keep coming
Each one is hung with care.

The gifts are tied with ribbons red
And topped with pretty bows
I’m done with all the details
As far as Christmas goes.

The fire is softly glowing
I think about your touch
But Christmas isn’t Christmas
I miss you oh, so much.

If I could have just anything
My Christmas wish would be
To wake up in the morning
And find you here with me.

Staring at your picture
I long to be set free
Tonight the tears are streaming
As I hold it next to me.

Flakes of snow swirl through the air
I’m braced for stormy weather
I wait for brighter days ahead
When we can be together.

So hold a place in heaven dear
Someday when life is through
I’ll be the Christmas angel
Who shares this day with you.

 

-Author Unknown

 

Mommy misses you so much Dan! I hope you know how much I think about you and long to hold you again.

Miracle Dan

Yesterday Dec 5 2011, Dan's memorial was finally placed. We love it so much! It is exactly how we wanted it to look. It is perfect for our perfect angel. We couldnt have done such an amazing memorial without all of the donations to the Miracle Dan Fund. So I want to thank all those who made a donation. We couldnt have done something so beautiful without your help! Thank you so much!

Dan is one loved little boy! We miss him so much!!!!!

I love this picture. Ever since we were able to release a butterfly in honor of Dan at the IHH Angel Ceremony I think of Dan everytime I see a butterfly. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

Yes thats right! Dan is sending down a brother or sister to his parents! We are so excited and can't wait for this next chapter. (yes we are also scared, but praying that things will go well!)

Our lives has been full of changes this year. Ups and downs. We are grieving the loss of our first child, and preparing for the arrival of our second. Baby #2 is due June 30, 2012.

We miss you Baby Dan...so so much!!

A Little Angel

 

Today it would be wonderful
To see you play and smile
But heaven ...lent you to this world
For just a little while
And in that short but precious time
You brought along much love
And all that love is with you now
In heaven up above.
Your leaving caused so many tears
And such a lot of pain
But God needed one more angel
So he took you back again.

Happy Halloween Dan!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO MIRACLE DAN!

Here is a pic of Dan's Halloween decorations. Man he is a spoiled boy! (Hopefully his headstone will be done soon)  I took him a rolo cookie that I made, and a little can of sunkist. I'll be handing the sodas out to our trick or treaters..so I didnt want him to be left out. :) The big spider balloon is from Auntie Daylan. How awesome!!

I love you and miss you so much Dan. I am so proud to be your mommy. I am so proud that you held on for 5 amazing weeks so I could get to know you. I hope you think of me and Daddy often, because we think of you constantly.  I LOVE YOU DAN!!